Just before you start to get too comfortable with 2018, let me introduce to you something which will prove that this year may just be the weirdest yet (and we’re only a week in).
No, I am not talking about Donald Trump‘s latest tweet – although it certainly set the bar low for the forthcoming year – and no, it is not related to the Kardashian clan, but their continued silence surrounding Kylie Jenner’s supposed pregnancy is certainly strange. Instead, I am talking about crotch charms. For those unfamiliar with the latest fashion fad, let me explain. Crotch charms are small, relatively discreet pieces of jewelry which you afix to the crotch area of your bikini bottoms.
Once in place, the dainty chain dangles between your legs making sure that your private parts are the focus of everyone’s attention at the beach – thus, a quality bikini wax is recommended before you commit to wearing them. Created by BoDivas, a Japanese brand based in Tokyo, the crotch charm has had mixed reviews. “This is as dumb as it gets,” wrote one unimpressed user online, while another typed: “Any woman with this rubbing against sensitive skin is not going to be healthy there. Gross. And obviously a demented man’s idea.” Others were quick to make jokes about the product, which they likened to a “stray tampon string”, with one user simply writing: “No need for these – for decades now, many of us ladies have been wearing our own lucky ‘charms’ one week of each month. Silly trend.”
Meanwhile, the seemingly inoffensive crotch charms provoked an angry debate online with those who dragged the fun fashion item into a discussion on feminism. “Once again ladies trying so hard to draw the attention of men towards that angle and when men come calling they cry sexism. Alright guys quickly let’s hang beads from our ding dongs and make things even,” wrote one ignorant user. The “sexy charms for [the] bikini crotch” are being marketed as “classy” and “very original” pieces of jewelry by BoDivas, who encourage buyers to wear them on their thongs, panties, and shorts too. The chain hangs down between the legs by three inches, ensuring that they’re visible to everyone from a variety of different angles. Priced between $19.50 and $22.50, they’re not quite the cheap Christmas-cracker prize that they look. BoDivas sell a variety of other erotic products on their website, including nipple chains, nipple clips and a ‘Ladies Clip’ which is inserted directly into the vagina and worn like the crotch charm.
Despite the attention that the crotch charms have attracted online, no review of the product has yet been left. However, it would appear that the general consensus is that they’re completely unnecessary and unlikely to ever become a mainstream accessory. Credit where credit is due to BoDiva for creating such a product. It takes true ingenuity to come up with something so strange. So there you have it, 2018 is officially the strangest year on record and it is only about to get worse. What will they come up with next? A fidget spinner which you attach to your private region? Is it time for us to retreat to our bunker with some tinned food? It’s been nice knowing you, folks!